


3 Words But They're So Hard To Say

by bubble_bobb



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Consensual Sex, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Drunken Kissing, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Hair-pulling, If it's their, M/M, Shameless Smut, Smut, Tattoos, i guees, it's kinda fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:03:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17868653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubble_bobb/pseuds/bubble_bobb
Summary: Getting a couple of drinks with your friends isn't a bad thing. Especially if it's after almost a year you last saw them but if Hongjoong knew it would lead to this, he would have never gotten drunk in the first place.





	3 Words But They're So Hard To Say

**Author's Note:**

> hi :)  
> i hope you enjoy  
> i'm sorry for any errors (it's 3am, i'm sorry)  
> feel free to leave kudos and/or a comment  
> i always love reading what you think

Hongjoong‘s eyes flutter open and he sowly looks around the room, squinting his eyes at the bright sunlight hitting his face. He stretches his limbs slowly and freezes when he feels two arms around his torso tighten. Hongjoong smiles a little bit, the smile soon falling off his face when he remembers what happedned the night before.

 _‘this was a bad idea, what have I done?!‘_ he thinks to himself as he looks over his shoulder, watching as the other male’s eyes flutter open and he looks up at Hongjoong with a soft smile, making him feel way worse than he already does.

 

 

_The front door of the bedroom opened quickly as two boys stumbled inside of it. Hongjoong chuckled as Seonghwa wrapped his arms around his neck._

_“Joongie.“_

_Seonghwa whispered, leaning closer and ghosting his lips over Hongjoong‘s neck. Hongjoong smiled, his hand running up Seonghwa‘s side and then back down to his ass. Hongjoong squeezed his ass and Seonghwa jumped up a little, giggling right after._

_Hongjoong began pushing the older back until his back hit the wall. Seonghwa hummed and looked up at Hongjoong who brought both of his hands to the wall, trapping his head._

_Hongjoong smirked before leaning up and pressing his lips against Seonghwa‘s.  Seonghwa closed his eyes and slid his hands down to Hongjoong‘s chest and tilted his head, smiling into the kiss._

_Hongjoong brought two of his fingers to Seonghwa‘s chin, tilting his head down and deepening the kiss by licking into it._

_Hongjoong smiled on the inside when he got to taste the wine combined with vodka they drank earlier. It was an awful combination but he couldn't care less._

_Seonghwa pulled back and smiled._

_“Do you like my hair?“_

_Seonghwa mumbled and Hongjoong frowned a bit, confused as to why Seonghwa was asking him that. He nodded a bit and Seonghwa smiled wider, his eyes forming an adorable eye smile._

_“Wanna see what it looks like at the top?“_

_Hongjoong nodded, his mind racing and millions of things and scenarios running through his mind. He looked at Seonghwa before the older surprised him by dropping to his knees. He stroked up Hongjoong’s thighs, hooking his fingers behind the waist band of his jeans._

_Hongjoong smiled down at him and unzipped his zipper to help the other pull his jeans down._

_Seonghwa hummed happily, palming Hongjoong slightly and pulling groans out of his mouth._

_“Stop being a tease.“_

_Hongjoong whispered with a smile and Seonghwa chuckled. He pulled the younger’s boxers down, blushing. He took a hold of it and smiled when Hongjoong sighed shakily. He stroked up a few times, flicking his tongue over the head teasingly before taking it into his mouth, as far as he could._

_"Seonghwa...."_

_Hongjoong sighed, his hand automatically finding home in Seonghwa’s blonde hair. The older went even further, fighting his gag reflex as best as he could and just trying to focus on the way Hongjoong was gripping his hair._

_“Warm.“_

_Seonghwa chuckled inwardly. He was proud of himself to say the least, he made Hongjoong to be at loss of words. He began to bob his head, watching as Hongjoong let his head roll back. Seonghwa opened his mouth, still bobbing his head, licking the underside._

_He felt his eyes water and a shot of arousal going through his whole body when Hongjoong pulled at his hair a little too hard. He looked up at him through his lashes with teary eyes._

_“Oh sorry, did I hurt you?“_

_Seonghwa only made a noise of disagreement and Hongjoong nodded again, pulling at Seonghwa’s hair again, just slightly, enough so he’d be able to feel it but gently enough so it won’t hurt. Seonghwa’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he stopped bobbing his head and let his mouth fall open more._

_“Oh yeah, you like that don’t you?“_

_Seonghwa hummed around Hongjoong, sending vibrations through his whole body. He nodded slightly, saliva dripping down his chin. Hongjoong smirked when Seonghwa shuddered and looked at him through his lashes again._

_The older pulled back and took a hold of Hongjoong’s lenght. He stroked it quickly before he slowly and shakily stood up._

_“What is it?“_

_Hongjoong stroked his face before bringing it closer to his own. Seonghwa looked at him with innocent eyes but he and Hongjoong knew there was nothing like innocence hiding behind them._

_“I want you to fuck me.“_

_He said simply, his other hand sliding up Hongjoong’s chest to his shoulder._

_“Gladly.“_

_Hongjoong said and reached for the other's hand, taking it into his own and intertwining their fingers. He led Seonghwa to the bed, pulling him close and planting a kiss to his lips before sitting him down._

_Seonghwa smiled up at him, letting Hongjoong push at his chest and lay him down onto the bed as the younger crawled on top of him._

_Hongjoong stared down at his best friend, his eyes filled with lust and want. Seonghwa looked up at Hongjoong, licking his lips and cupping his cheek. Seonghwa propped himself up on his elbow, claiming Hongjoong‘s lips again. They both knew this wasn’t the way they were supposed to be, but they’ll forget it ever happened soon anyway._

_The older laid back down when the other began pushing on his chest again and moving his lips over his to his cheek and then his neck. Seonghwa hummed and smiled, tangling his fingers in Hongjoong‘s hair and gently tugging at it._

_“So pretty.“_

_Hongjoong murmured against Seonghwa‘s neck, sliding his hand up his thigh and under his shirt, rubbing circles into his skin. The younger bit down on Seonghwa‘s neck causing him to arch his back a little and whine out his name. Hongjoong smirked, he loved the way his name sounded when Seonghwa siad it._

_“More.“_

_The older looked at him with a questioning look and Hongjoong bit on his neck again, creating a bright and colorful mark that won't go away easily._

_“Say my name.“_

_Another slight, but effective, bite._

_“One more time.“_

_And so Seonghwa did just that, smiling when Hongjoong tensed up a little. The younger trailed kisses from his neck to his collar bones before reaching the collar of his shirt. He used his other hand to roll  the shirt up and pull it over Seonghwa’s head._

_Seonghwa shook his head a little when the shirt was thrown across the room but looked back at Hongjoong right after, pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt and pressing their lips together again. He felt like he couldn't get enough of it, the warmth and taste. The younger got rid of the remaining clothes, leaving the other in nothing but beautiful golden skin._

_Hongjoong pulled down his own pants together with his boxers, throwing it across the room to where Seonghwa’s shirt most probably was. Seonghwa blushed, pulling back to catch his breath and laugh nervously._

_He felt his body relax and warm up a bit when Hongjoong started rubbing his thighs gently._

_“Relax, I’ll be gentle, I would never hurt you.“_

_Seonghwa nodded, smiling oh – so slightly making Hongjoong’s heart melt a bit._

_“Spread your legs for me angel.“_

_Hongjoong said, slipping between them when Seonghwa did what he said. He reached for the lube from his bed side table and popped the cap off. He quickly got some on his fingers._

_Hongjoong circled his fingers around Seonghwa’s hole, leaning in close and whispering sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down while slowly pushing the finger in._

_After a while of stretching the other and hearing him moan out his name and realizing how good his name sounded, Hongjoong decided that it could be enough. He slowly and cafefully pulled his fingers out earning a whimper. He wiped his finger on the sheets and lined himself up with Seonghwa’s hole._

_"Ready?"_

_He said lowly and the older nodded slightly. Hongjoong sighed, slowly pushing in. Seonghwa gritted his teeth, his hands going up to squeeze Hongjoong’s shoulders. The younger shook his head, letting out a soft huf and looking up at Seonghwa._

_“You okay?“_

_He asked, his hands still caressing Seonghwa’s skin. The older nodded, wrapping his legs around the other’s waist and laying his head back onto the white pillows of Hongjoong’s bed._

_Soon the older boy’s hands were fisting the sheets so hard his knuckles were turning white, his whole body covered in a thin layer of sweat and libs trembling._

_“Please, please, f-faster.“_

_He begged, his eyebrows knitting when he felt the other hit his sweet spot. Hongjoong’s eyes scanned Seonghwa’s body, stopping at the tattoo of his name on Seonghwa’s hip bone. He traced the inked letters carefully and smiled. A silly thing they did the last time they got drunk, which was quite a while ago._

_He knew he had the same one, proudly inked on his shoulder blade with Seonghwa’s name written in cursive._

_A whimper coming from underneath him snapped him back to reality and he looked at Seonghwa’s puzzled face. He leaned down, his hot and harsh breath tickling Seonghwa’s cheek._

_“I’m- I’m gonna-“_

_Seongwha blurred out and cut himself off with another whimper, not being able to finish his sentence. Hongjoong hummed and nodded, speeding up a little to push himself closer to finishing too. He leaned down, holding the other close and hiding his face in the crook of Seonghws's neck._

_The older did the same, sighing and scratching Hongjoong's arms. The younger boy's hips stuttered when Seonghwa arched his back and came, a loud moan followed by a whimper leaving his full lips. He continued to push inside of Seonghwa, chasing after his own orgasm before quickly pulling out and coming onto the older's lower belly._

_Seonghwa sighed, his head falling back onto the pillows. Hongjoong too sighed, more shakily, sitting back on his heels and looking at Seonghwa with knitted eyebrows._

_He felt like all of his senses came back to him at once as Seonghwa looked at him with half lidded eyes but that was all he could see before his vision went blurry and then completely black._

 

 

“Morning.“

Hongjoong's head snaps up, coming back to the real world.

"Morning."

Seonghwa repeats with a chuckle, smiling so softly Hongjoong would believe if someone said that Seonghwa was actually an angel all along. Hongjoong sits up and looks around his room. His heart drops when he sees the pile of clothing laying in the corner in his room.

“What’s wrong?“

Hongjoong looks back at Seonghwa, the bruises on his neck confirming their actions from last night. The older sits up as well, shifting closer to Hongjoong with a concerned look but Hongjoong knows that look is dedicated to his actions from few minutes ago not to what they did few hours ago.

All he can think now is, how, how is Seonghwa so calm? Doesn’t he realize that what they did was wrong? That they should’ve never gotten drunk, that that way they would never end up like this, naked and in one bed.

“Seonghwa, what did we do last night?“

Hongjoong asks as if he didn’t already know the answer but he’s scared, he doesn’t want to believe it.  If it’s true, he wants- needs to hear it from Seonghwa too.

His heart skips a beat when the older blushes and looks down.

“Well, we-“

“Don’t.“

Seonghwa looks up in shock and confusion. He reaches out but Hongjoong inches away.

“Joong ah, what’s-“

“Don’t you realize that what we did was- was- just wrong?“

Seonghwa shakes his head and sits upright.

“I liked it…“

He whispers and Hongjoong frowns and laughs sarcastically, his head feeling like it’s going to explode.

“That’s the problem Seonghwa, you shouldn’t like it, you should be disgusted by me, you should- you should hate me.“

Hongjoong’s breath hitches at the end, his eyes tearing up. He brings his head to his hands and lays it in them. Everything is too much. He still doesn’t want to believe that he did something like that to Seonghwa, his best friend since childhood, his only support, the only person he could trust, and he had to fuck their friendship up like this?

Seonghwa stands up on his knees, shifting closer to the younger and wrapping his arms around his shaking frame.

“I’m sorry.“

Hongjoong whispers and Seonghwa feels his heart break, he doesn’t like this. He can hear the sadness and regret in Hongjoong’s voice and that scares him.

Does he really regret it? Does he regret everything that happened between them? Is he really the only one who actually enjoyed what happened?

“I’m so… sorry Seonghwa, I’m such a fuck up.“

“Don’t be.“

Seonghwa whispers against his neck and Hongjoong shivers.

“Please don’t be sorry Joong, we’ll…. figure this out, I promise.“

Seonghwa rests his forehead against Hongjoong’s back, his eyes trailing down until he sees his name tattooed on Hongjoong's skin. He grits his teeth, feeling the tears pool up in his own eyes, ready to escape.

“I promise.“

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on Twitter? (@bangchanlovebug)  
> I'd love to be friends ^^


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